SEO is bullshit!!!

Filed Under (Funny English) by Pabi on 10-05-2008

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Seo is using deodorant instead of washing. SEO is masking bad coffee with sugar. SEO is cramming instead of studying. SEO is using pain killers instead of going to the dentist. SEO is taking weight loss pills instead of exercising. SEO is a comb-over. SEO is Scientology. SEO is Paris Hilton. SEO is the Zune. SEO is the morning-after pill. SEO is astroturf. SEO is not the real thing. SEO is cutting corners. SEO is not the solution. SEO is bullshit.

Let’s talk about shit!!!

Filed Under (Funny English) by Pabi on 10-05-2008

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Shit is a powerful word. Just think of all the concepts and ideas you can communicate with it. Shit may just be the most powerful word in the English language.

CONSIDER THIS: You can be shit faced, be shit out of luck, or have shit for brains. With a little effort you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot. You can smoke shit,buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit and die. You can shit or go blind, have a shit fit or just shit your life away. People can be shit headed, shit brained, shit blinded, and shit over.

Some people know their shit while others can’t tell the difference between shit and shineola. There are lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, and sweet shits. There is bull shit, and horse shit and chicken shit. You can throw shit,sling shit, catch shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan. You can take a shit, give a shit, or serve shit on a shingle. You can find yourself in deep shit, or be happier than a pig in shit. Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty. Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit. You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle. Sometimes you really need this shit and sometimes you don’t want any shit at all. Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you swim in a lake of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

Shit! When you stop to consider all the facts, it’s the basic building block of creation. And remember, once you know your shit, you don’t need to know anything else.

<疯狂英语>人之初-At the beginning of life

Filed Under (Funny English) by admin on 23-02-2008

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人之初:At the beginning of life.
性本善:Sex is good.
性相近:Basically,all the sex are same.
习相远:But it depends on how the way you do it.
苟不教:If you do not practise all the time.
性乃迁:Sex will leave you..
教之道:The way of learning it
贵以专:is very important to make love with only one person.
昔孟母:Once a great mother, Mrs Meng
择邻处:chose her neighbour to avoid bad sex influence.
子不学:If you dont study hard,
断机杼:Your Dick will become useless.
窦燕山:Dou, the Famous
有义方:owned a very effective exciting medicine
教五子:All his five son took it
名俱扬:and their sexual ability were well-kown.
养不教:If your children dont know how to do it,
父之过:It is all your fault.
教不严:If they had lots of problems with it,
师之惰:their teach must be too lazy to tell them details on sex.
子不学:You may refuse to study this
非所宜:but that is a real mistake
幼不学:If you dont learn it in childhood,
老何为:you will lose your ability when aged
玉不琢:If you dont exercise your dick,
不成器:It wont become hard and strong.
人不学:If you dont learn sex,
不知义:You can by no means enjoy its sweetness

原文标题:<疯狂英语>人之初-At the beginning of life
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